The Break-up Diet

It happened. The worst of the worst. My boyfriend of eight months broke up with me. I used to be under the assumption that it began to get easier, but the truth is, it doesn't. IT GETS WORST. For women, however, the best side to the break-up is the enormous amount of weight you lose. Okay, not enormous maybe, but the weight goes off, and the skinny jeans come back on. If you really want to know why most single people are skinny, its because theres a certain amount of loneliness that occurs in single people, not sad, but slightly lonely, which is why a lot are skinny. Right after a break-up is the loneliest time. It the time that you realize, no more cozies, no more calls good night, possibly no sex for a while. So to make myself feel better, I've decided that while I'm going to be sad for a while, I will lose weight, accidentially, of course, which is the best way to lose weight. Have you ever seen someone right after a break-up with a fiancee or long time boyfriend or girlfriend, and they look very waif-ish. That's what I'm going for and more specifically, I want to fit into my size 26 black skinny jeans, which are more like 25 since they've been washed so many times. And I want to weigh 107, watch me. Here's the skinny hipsterness I'm looking to capture. Day 1.

A Twentysomething Foodies Guide to Gearing Up For Summer

It that time of year again...March. March is a foreshadowing of April, which is almost May, which is a foreshadowing of the most feared season by women,. i.e 'Bathing Suit Season.' March is like a Sunday afternoon for me. You're glad you got to sleep in but you know Monday is right around the corner. This year, as a devoted Foodie I have implemented my own guide to gearing up for summer void of all negative aspects correlating to 'Bathing Suit Season.' And to me there is no better way to start off the summer festivities than with an ice cold margarita, chips and guacamole.

The Perfect Margarita
Ingredients
1. 1 1/2 ounces tequila (blanco, 100% agave)
2. 1 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice
3. 1/2 ounce Cointreau
Optional: Salt for rimming
Directions: Combine tequila, lime juice, and Cointreau, stir together. Serve on the rocks.

Fabulous Guacamole
Ingredients
1. 2 ripe avocados
2. 1/2 cup onion, chopped
3. 1-2 serrano Chile, stems & seed removed, minced (use accordingly to level of hot)
4. 1/3 cup cilantro leaves, roughly chopped
5. 1/3 cup fresh lime juice
6. 1 teaspoon coarse salt
7. A dash of freshly grated black pepper
8. 1/2 ripe tomato, seeds and pulp removed, chopped

Directions: Cut avocados in half. Remove seed. Scoop out avocado from the peel, put in a mixing bowl. Using a fork, mash each avocado. Add chopped onion, cilantro, lime juice, and salt and pepper to taste.
2. Add Chili peppers accordingly. Then add tomatoes when guacamole is ready to serve.

Serve with tortilla chips.